The Onion Theory

Some women think they want a bad boy. Some want the nice guy. Some want to date one and marry the other, and some want a man who is driven, independent, and focused. But when they get what they think they want they are never satisfied. Women want an onion.

Men want the women who are beautiful, smart, sassy, and unpredictable. The women who come from good families. Before I continue, notice I did say beautiful first. A woman can have everything going for her, but if she is not attractive I will not approach her. Do you know what we call a girl who is not attractive? A friend, if they are lucky.

Does this make me shallow? Some of you might say yes, but I beg to differ. Is it wrong that as a twenty-something I want it all? We can't be jaded by our exes. When we date them we think they are perfect. That they have depth and layers to them, but once we get out of our relationship we wonder, are our expectations too high?

No, not at all. Do these women exist? Yes. Being men we still want our friends to be envious of who we are with, but what we really want is for them to be envious of what we see naked nightly. This makes me a realist.

A girl wants the guy who can sit home on a Sunday afternoon, watch football with her father and drink a few beers. However, of course this isn't all we can be. We can be so much more. We need to be more. We need to exist in layers.

As much as women want us to hunt and go to war, they also desire the man they can bring home to mom. We need to be able to help her mother set the table, take out the trash, clean the dishes and to do these tasks without being asked. We need to hold the door, be gentlemen. We also need to be sensitive enough to comfort our girlfriends and talk about their feelings.

Most of these traits we must perform exist on a continuum and cannot all exist at the same time. It’s difficult to be one of the guys and talk about her feelings simultaneously. However, the key to life and love is balance.

It is our ability to seemingly integrate these roles we must play that makes us attractive to women. Some of us are blessed. We come from good families, have looks and intelligence and we can be somewhat Machiavellian in the way we understand the opposite sex. This gift is our curse. Being a great guy leads to only wanting one thing: The Perfect Woman. We want the Holy Grail of sex, the personality, and intelligence all rolled into one.

We want an onion.

A female friend recently told me after I broke up with my ex, that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. She explained I am able to play all the parts. I have all of the layers and would have no problem finding that mythical female. However, this is where she is wrong. You don’t need to play the part, you are the part, you are that guy. Now be an onion and show your layers.