I Like My Girls With Low Self Esteem

Over a year ago I met this smoking hot girl at a bar. She hated me then even more than she does now. Most sexual relationships are built on a strong foundation of hatred and attraction, which they should be. Either hatred which turns you on to them or hatred where you really want to hurt them in the bedroom with rough sex. Often they go hand in hand.

One night when at a club in South Beach with three friends, one girl and two duds, my two boys were murdering me with boredom. I drank and I drank, but I hit that point where if I consumed an additional 10 or 20 drinks I was still going to feel just as sober.

One of my good buddies known as Seafood because he sees food he eats it, was texting with two girls who ending up meeting us out. I was ready to leave the club before even walking in so when I met the two bombshells I extended my hand, said nice to meet you and turned right back around to the bar to see if I could beat this soberness.

The girls were offended I did not hang around and talk longer, but I was so sober I could have driven a car in reverse while weaving in and out of traffic blindfolded and jerking off with my feet; and let's get to the real point, who wants to talk to a girl sober? I continued to drink hoping that I could turn this night around. Evidently, my boredom worked in my favor on this off night and I accidentally intrigued one of the ladies.

My lack of interest in Bombshell #1 was an optical allusion because I truly was interested. When approaching such a bombshell I generally would have been quickly shot down, but that night I was so bored and in such a horrible mood that it worked to my advantage.

Those of you men needing help in the pussy crushing department take some advice. The trick is to intrigue the girl and hold her interest. Be mysterious and not in a Val Kilmer in Batman Forever kinda way. Be mysterious enough that she is questioning why is this guy not talking to me? Is there something wrong with my outfit? Can he do that much better than me?

For those of you who don't know how to make a girl feel this way, here is a move of mine that I find works more often than not. I generally do not believe in buying a girl a drink, but most of you don't know how to approach a girl unless you do so here is your exception:

When you see a girl you're interested in about to order a drink, walk up next to her and do the same. Tell her you need to put a minimum on your credit card and want to close out and she would she be doing you a great service if she ordered a drink on your tab. When talking to most girls their first thought is, "when is he leaving" so this approach works well because she knows you won't be hanging around. After buying her the drink walk away immediately. She is instantly intrigued and slightly offended you don't stay to talk. The rest of the night when she sees you, she is going to be wondering, why didn't he want to talk to me?

Luckily for me, the fact I had an off night intrigued Bombshell #1 enough that she wanted to know more about me. Most guys like girls with low self esteem. It's because the less they think of themselves the more interested they become in you.

A few weeks later I was out and ran into Bombshell #1. This time I once again didn't show much interest because I was in the middle of talking with a friend. Rarely am I able to play it so cool with a girl as out of this world attractive as she is, but with her I was able to do it twice. Later that night a bunch of us found ourselves getting a 3 am meal and she came along. We got to talking and it became evident how bothered she was that I had previously blown her off. Bombshell #1 has extremely high self esteem, but I was able to temporarily lower it resulting in her on-going interest, exactly what you should all be aiming for.

Too often girls like to toot their own horn and think their shit doesn't stink. They think, oh some guy bought me a drink so I'm hot shit. Well guys do yourselves and all females a favor. If their self confidence is too high, lower it for them. Believe me no one wants to date a stuck up bitch and she doesn't want to date a little pussy either, so don't be a pushover.

Question for the Ages

This weekend I'm going out with some friends. Bunch of guys and bunch of girls. Not everyone is acquainted with one another and so the only question when meeting new people has surfaced. Are your friends hot?

Whenever a guys ask girls if their friends are attractive the answer is always yes and more often than not we are disappointed. We all know the story they say, "she is cute" or "she is so funny, best personality ever. You will love her." What our female friends don't seem to understand is men do not go out at night looking to make friends with girls. When I ask a girl if her friend is hot the only answers that are of any relevance to me are "is your friend dtf" (down to fuck) and she is hot enough.

Now some of you are sitting there thinking Ben's a pig. Well, I don't hide what I am ladies. I have great friends and I'm not looking to make any more. I don't want a girlfriend and I pity the fool who does. You see love is the greatest myth on Earth. People buy into it because they need that feeling of self worth as I have mentioned so many times before.

Ladies take my advice, the biggest misconception in your brain when you go out at night, is where should the night go. You all go out to have a great time, dance, maybe meet some new people.

Guys objective: Get laid and if we don't the night is a failure.

So ladies, when your guy friend asks you if your friend's are hot just give him the answer he needs, "enough".

If you give a mouse a cookie.....

This weekend my buddy and I had dinner with his Grandmother and after one drink she should have been sent home. Her vulgarity and blood alcohol levels were off the charts. So off the charts what I am about to type may make some of you uncomfortable. However, if you read my blog you already know this feeling occurs frequently.

CAUTION PROCEEDING: THIS BLOG IS VULGAR!

My friends Grandmother, let's call her Gene, explained in her generation when there was a man you wanted to go to bed with you had to marry him. Her theory made sense: Limit your partners, save your reputation. That's why everyone was married when they were 18 to 21, they wanted to bone. Gene then said for no particular reason, "the reason everyone loved the Catholic girls was because they gave the best head!"

After dinner drunk Gene told me she only loved one man and he was in heaven but she would have loved to go to bed with me. I went to the bars with my friends and got wrecked. I said to my friend Jennifer, "should I just do it? Should I send Grandmom off the right way?"

Jennifer and I continued to drink when she asked me, "would you do it for a million dollars?" I wasn't sure. She said a billion. I said yes. I told her there's isn't a thing in this world I wouldn't do for a billion. She asked would I lose a limb? I said absolutely. Would I lose my penis? My response, "why live?"

I continued to drink and it made more and more sense to me. I have a penis for a reason. My wang-piece is the gift of life and provider of pleasure so I might as well use it as often as I can. Don't judge me! Yes she is 80 years old, but how much would it mean to her? I get to send her off to Heaven the proper way. She most likely dies and I highly doubt they would perform an autopsy and all I have to do is close my eyes and picture a much younger, thinner, wetter vagina. Sure I would be haunted for eternity, but what else do the elder have to live for?

The following day I nursed my hangover the only way one should. I woke up and drank on the beach with friends. My friend Jennifer and I discussed blow jobs and and she told me growing up she never swallowed because she feared she would get preggers. I would like to use a lifeline now and ask the audience, WHO OUT THERE REALLY BELIEVES THIS?

As the conversation evolved, Jennifer's friend said she has no problem swallowing. I knew she would have been a star in Ookie Cookie, but she didn't know what this was. Ookie Cookie, I explained, is a game that questions men's sexuality more than wrestling. It is believed to be played at camp, sleepovers, frat hazing, etc.

Rules: Place a cookie in the center of a table or circle. All of the members of the party then sit or stand around the cookie and proceed to stroke their members. The last one to cum on the cookie must eat the cookie.

After explaining this her friend said, "why do only boys get a cookie for eating semen? Hell, I'm used to swallowing. I'd consider a cookie an improvement."

Men right then a new man law was established: After ejaculating do the right thing. If she asks for a cookie, give her a glass of a milk.