What not to do in law school

For the past few months there has been a female in my class that I do not see eye to eye with. Cut-Throat Bitch, as I call her, may not know of my displeasure with her, but regardless of the fact I proclaim that I reserve the right to be mad at CTB for her uncouth behavior.

Every day class begins precisely at 9:30 AM. I have two class rules:

Rule 1: If you are late you walk around the classroom so you do not disturb everyone else.

Rule 2: I don't believe anyone needs to use the bathroom when class is only an hour and 15 minutes. If they can't hold it, it's pretty pathetic unless you either have to vomit or have diarrhea.

Far too often Cut-Throat Bitch walks in class late, directly in front of the professor's podium as he is lecturing. CTB has her coffee and a breakfast treat in hand and there is only one word to categorize behavior like this: inconsiderate.

It illustrates that a student cannot make it on time to class, BUT they had plenty of time to stop for coffee and a donut.

Then once arriving in class, CTB has to settle in her seat, take out her laptop, and open her book. All of which are distractions. Sure I might look at porn in class, but I'm there on time, and no one has to look at my screen if they don't want as I go from 6 to midnight.

One day between two of our classes I ran across the street to Dunkin Donuts. Before leaving I asked if anyone would like anything and received no reply. Upon returning with food, CTB told me I should have asked her if she wanted anything and how it was rude of me to leave without doing so. Finally, an opportunity to open my mouth!

I paused knowing I was about to regret my next few comments, but continued on anyway. "I did ask if you wanted anything, but you were too busy talking on your phone, IN CLASS when I asked. I apologize though. Sometimes I forget to listen when women speak because I'm not used to them having voice in this country." Ugh-oh that's where a filter between my brain and my mouth would be useful!

As you might imagine she looked at me stunned. It was as if I just broke the news to her that people get AIDS from banging apes. She didn't think I was too funny poking at her gender and I suppose in a law school environment I should be more prudent. Being the man I am, it only made sense that I would continue you on with the sexist slurs after she called me a rude pig, among other words.

I said to Cut Throat Bitch, "I'm sorry. I bet next thing you are going to do is tell me women can vote? Or better yet that they can drive? Anyway, I'm sorry, next time I will get you a donut even if you don't want one." CTB sarcastically responded, "thank you, I appreciate it. I really like the ones with the cream filling."

"I bet that's not all you like with cream in your mouth," fuck once again a filter would come in handy, but did she have to say "with the cream filling?" "I'm sorry?! I didn't really mean for that one to come out," as I continued with the slaughtering.

"Wow you really can't control how big of an asshole you are, can you? Can you say anything without offending a woman?"

"Of course I can," I told her. "Would you like to hear a nice clean joke?"
CTB, "I'd love to."

"WOMEN'S RIGHTS," as I once again ignored the filter from my brain to my mouth.