How to mess up a date...........guys edition

The 10 ways a guy can go wrong on a first date:

1. Be attentive, but do not overdo it. You can hold a door, but if you pull out her chair you will only look gay.

2. Do not refer to women as broads, dames or subspecies. Everyone knows they prefer to be referred to as tramps and whores.

3. Do not mention athletic accomplishments. Unless in my case they really are accomplishments, because I am an extremely gifted athlete.

4. Try not to fart in the car before she gets in. It might be more potent than you originally believed.

5. Try not fart in the car until after gets out and is 30 feet away from you. It might be louder than you expected.

6. Stay away from Jedi mind tricks.

7. Do not laugh if the waiter asks if you'd like your steak with a hot pink center. Even I am still working on this.

8. Do not go dutch on the bill, unless you do not want to see her again or are too big of a pus to tell her she sucks.

9. Do not get bombed and make her drive home. Everybody knows women are horrible drivers and do not belong behind a wheel.

10. Do not wear cotton pants. You don't want to have to hide a boner. It's always safer to blame it on the jeans.