As many of you may have noticed I have one extremely dedicated reader. The person comments on how I’m a gimp, disgusting, vile, and that no one would ever want to marry me. This anonymous person poetically writes through eloquent verbalization, calling me a “balding moron” in several posts.
What we do know is this mystery woman is a coward. She writes anonymously and resorts to childish name calling. We also know she is madly in love with me. She is obsessed with my blog and is constantly writing comments! I appreciate her obsessive devotion. I would like to thank you! You have raised my appeal and fan base. If no one else reads my blog, it has been an honor to write to my audience of one! Thank you for your support!
It is also clear you may have weight issues. To this I apologize if I have offended you, but if my blog has upset you to this great degree, maybe you have some misplaced esteem issues and should seek counseling.
You mentioned that I am not the type of person someone looks to marry. I am 24, why would I want to get married?
I noticed that you write at 8:50 am on weekend mornings. Now you may think, where is Benjamin going with this. Well you foolish, uneducated infant. The readers I have are mostly people I know. They read it and enjoy my stories and my humor and they are also out drinking frequently, especially on the weekends! They are not awake at 8:50 AM on a Sunday to tell me, (wait now I don’t want to quote you incorrectly), I'm a “balding moron.”
So thank you for flattering me. More people have been tuning in every day to see what my heavy set, disgusted, unhappy, and lonely comment leaver has to say about my joyful life experiences. You even stooped low enough to ridicule my disability; I'm disgusting? I would say you only have half a brain, but I cannot compliment you by acknowledging you have one at all.
You are only as good as those you surround yourself with. May that be a lesson to all of you and especially to you anonymous fearful commenter. I hope you are one day comfortable enough in your own skin that you do not have to hide in the shadows afraid to be seen. Instead of falling in contempt to my brilliance, maybe you can learn to do something you enjoy, rather than being morbid, bitter, and obsessing over others such as myself. It is possible to find happiness through all ventures of life without being jealous of others. I wish you all the best and look forward to hearing more from you!
- The Balding Moron
Monday, June 15, 2009
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Clearly the only reason you have an anonymous poster is that you have so many people obsessed with you. It sucks to be so damn cool and popular sometimes...
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, every hero needs a villian. In this case i'm really not sure who is which but I'm entertained by the feud. The common phrase "fighting through the internet is like the special olympics, even if you win you're still retarded."
ReplyDeletelololol I think the anonymous commenter is CTB
ReplyDeleteyou're so full of yourself. im glad they taught you SOMETHING at the jewniversity of miami, cuz ugly pricks like you who think they're so confident for loosely referring to other men's cocks and boldly criticizing fat people, need something to go on in life. i wouldnt touch you with a 10 foot pole, and you're not even fat. so THAT sucks! back where i come from a little bitch like you would get beat the fuck up for talking like you do, or rather having a blog in the first place! but pls, keep going cuz it makes me feel a little better about my life :)
ReplyDeleteOmfg .. I love anti fans .. But jonnnnnnn your writing is becoming to repetiive ... I know you can wrote better than this .. Shake it up and tell us a different kinda story !!
ReplyDeleteIn honor of this post entry I'm signing off as
Anonymous :)