How many people have you with slept?

The amount of people you sleep with is much like your SAT score. It can never be changed. Everyone wants to know what you scored, and everyone lies about it.

My friend Nathan has been falling disgustingly for a girl, Hayley, when she recently asked him how many girls he has slept with. She said if he did not tell her than they could never be together.
( I do not believe in ultimatums. They back people into a corner and they generally backfire for both parties.)

I have dated girls, some more serious than others and the question of how many have you slept with is unavoidable.

Some of the girl’s numbers have been high and others have been extremely low. This is why I can give my expert my opinion about the plus and minuses of knowing and not knowing.

When a girl in her young 20's tells me her number, I have learned most average around 10-13 partners. If the number is less than 3 I worry and more than 20 I am taken back.

Sadly a double standard does apply. Although it is unfair, it does exist and we would be fools not to recognize this fact. I believe girls who have slept with significantly less than the average and freely share their number, have ruined it for the girls with higher numbers.

Men want to picture girlfriends in the purest sense. Sometimes we ask what a girl’s number is because we feel we need to know. It is often difficult to imagine the girl we thought we knew being someone's one night stand.

When a girl tells me she has slept with between 10-13 people, I imagine there have been a few one night stands, but she generally is careful with those she chooses to sleep with. I am not thrilled with the overall number, but it is not a number I will lose sleep over either.

If she has slept with more than 20 my jaw drops. Even if it is something I am prepared for, hearing it takes you back. Once you know, there is no escaping, but it has to make you wonder, "who isn't she spreading her legs for?"

The only thing knowing the overall number can do is make you doubt the person you have already been crazy about. No good can come of it and here is why.

It can NEVER end with how many people. After the number is revealed and she has time to think it over, a flood of new questions will arrive.

Who are they? How were they? Were any better than me? Do you think any are prettier than me? Did you ever love any of them? Why? Why not? Do you even love me?

Once this bag of worms is opened the only way to stop it is to murder your significant other, because every girl you introduce her to from that point on she will ask if you have slept with. She will be mean to the girl friends you had before meeting her. She will hold grudges and resent the girls, when she has no reason to.

She cannot control what you did before her, as you cannot control what she did. The past is the past and let it stay that way.

All you have to remember girls, is you are the one he is with now. I have made the mistake of asking girls in the past and I too have been asked. This is the best advice I can give:

The number does not matter. With previous women I was unable to get it out of my head, but I realized, if she wanted to be with someone else she would have been. So don't ask the question, because it cannot be changed.

You either want to be with the person or not. Take my advice from a guy who has asked girls and from a guy who has been asked.

Assume they have slept with 60 people, maybe even 70. Now he is only sleeping with 1 now, so feel lucky and not bitter or jealous. Sex is JUST sex. Young people are having it to have fun and get off, not to procreate! Some people are going to have higher numbers than others. I assure you if every girl I kissed wanted to sleep with me I probably would have and then where would my overall number be? Ask yourself how high your number would be if that were your case?

The only thing that matters is that you know who you want to be with. Once you do, let sleeping dogs lie because whatever happened before you is history.