Some women think they want a bad boy. Some want the nice guy. Some want to date one and marry the other, and some want a man who is driven, independent, and focused. But when they get what they think they want they are never satisfied. Women want an onion.
Men want the women who are beautiful, smart, sassy, and unpredictable. The women who come from good families. Before I continue, notice I did say beautiful first. A woman can have everything going for her, but if she is not attractive I will not approach her. Do you know what we call a girl who is not attractive? A friend, if they are lucky.
Does this make me shallow? Some of you might say yes, but I beg to differ. Is it wrong that as a twenty-something I want it all? We can't be jaded by our exes. When we date them we think they are perfect. That they have depth and layers to them, but once we get out of our relationship we wonder, are our expectations too high?
No, not at all. Do these women exist? Yes. Being men we still want our friends to be envious of who we are with, but what we really want is for them to be envious of what we see naked nightly. This makes me a realist.
A girl wants the guy who can sit home on a Sunday afternoon, watch football with her father and drink a few beers. However, of course this isn't all we can be. We can be so much more. We need to be more. We need to exist in layers.
As much as women want us to hunt and go to war, they also desire the man they can bring home to mom. We need to be able to help her mother set the table, take out the trash, clean the dishes and to do these tasks without being asked. We need to hold the door, be gentlemen. We also need to be sensitive enough to comfort our girlfriends and talk about their feelings.
Most of these traits we must perform exist on a continuum and cannot all exist at the same time. It’s difficult to be one of the guys and talk about her feelings simultaneously. However, the key to life and love is balance.
It is our ability to seemingly integrate these roles we must play that makes us attractive to women. Some of us are blessed. We come from good families, have looks and intelligence and we can be somewhat Machiavellian in the way we understand the opposite sex. This gift is our curse. Being a great guy leads to only wanting one thing: The Perfect Woman. We want the Holy Grail of sex, the personality, and intelligence all rolled into one.
We want an onion.
A female friend recently told me after I broke up with my ex, that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. She explained I am able to play all the parts. I have all of the layers and would have no problem finding that mythical female. However, this is where she is wrong. You don’t need to play the part, you are the part, you are that guy. Now be an onion and show your layers.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
"I Won't Ever Have Sex With You"
For the past week or so I've been spending time with a female friend. She actually could not be better suited for me, but until last night I never really considered the possibility of it going anywhere. Whenever I first meet a girl and I'm sober, I actually really enjoying talking to her. I enjoy getting to know someone and the conversations that evolve during the process. The conversations allow me to see if she is a real person or if she is only going to serve for the purpose of sexual release.
Last night I was over her place and we were studying. Our relationship thus far has been purely amiable, but last night she made a comment that made me realize it might be taking an unexpected turn.
I left her place late last night and we resumed talking when I arrived home. My game was on and I had been untouchable all night. It's the oldest cliche, but just being yourself works the best, well when you're awesome like me at least. The words were flowing out of me and I was in my zone. There was nothing she could do to slow down this train and in an instant she became a deer in the headlights and so we will call her Bambi.
Guys pick up girls in various ways. We pick them up with our looks, charm, wallet, celebrity status, humor. Not me. I pick up girls with my words. By talking to me girls feel instantly comfortable. If you are one of my victims then you know what I am talking about. I can sit and talk and the conversation flows endlessly, get a little liquor in me and I'm even sharper. It's not a trick however, it is genuine. I engage in conversation. I find a way for it to flow to a place which I consider my comfort zone and before you know it you are telling me your deepest darkest secrets you never told anyone, let alone someone you hardly know. (You have probably been with someone before who has done the exact same thing to you.)
Is it wrong? No.
Why? Because I'm not opening you up and allowing you to be vulnerable to expose and use you. I do it because I am genuinely interested what you have to say. Once I can direct the conversation into sexual experiences and preferences, women become intrigued and enamored. They don't even realize how the conversation went from law exams to sexual positions and partners.
Last night after arriving home Bambi said to me, "its funny...certain guys have a gift with conversation....and they can really make you tell them all your deepest darkest secrets...well not make you but just make it easy to offer."
What is so riveting about Bambi mentioning this, is that she was well aware of what was occurring and how she was telling me everything about herself, but it didn't stop her. She was too caught up in the conversation to slow down.
Her next comment to me was, "we can never have sex, you know far too much about me now. I won't ever have sex with you."
Now this rather seemingly harmless conversation was never about us having sex, nor did I ever proposition her or imply I was interested. However, being a man, I'm not going to turn down sex from a very attractive female either.
Unfortunately for her, by telling me she will never have sex with me she folded her hand. I knew exactly the cards she had been dealt and bluffing wouldn't take her any farther. I now had the upper hand and knew we would absolutely have sex the next time I saw her. Now some of you may be confused so I will slow down and explain.
Whenever a girl tells you she will not have sex with you, she has every intention to sleep with you, unless you are a stalker, rapist, molester, etc.
The reason a girl says she won't sleep with you is simple and obvious, it is a defense mechanism. Bambi may not realize she was the one who brought up sex entirely on her own, but by bringing it up I now knew the seed was planted in her head. The only difference is now she seems to think I actually believe we won't ever have sex and so I let her think this. The reason she told me that we won't be having sex is because it allows her to gather enough self respect that she doesn't feel like she made herself too easy for me. This way she can pretend I still have to work for it.
The conversation had flowed exactly where I wanted it to and when talking about sex, an extremely personal topic girls become excited. When the conversation began I honestly was not thinking about having sex with her, but as I stated in the beginning, I'm a guy and when a smoking girl is offering, I'm not one to shy away. While I didn't intend for the conversation to go as far as it went, I pushed down on the accelerator and let it ride, when right in front of my eyes there it was, a deer in the headlights.
In a way many of you may feel that my approach where girls open up to me is cheating, corner cutting or just downright wrong. Well it's not. Some guys simply get laid for looks or money. Is it so wrong to use my god given abilities? If your greatest talent was playing an instrument, would you not play at the highest level you could?
My greatest talent is my words and my pen. I never said I don't like the women, I never said I couldn't see a future with them, all I do is use the skills I have to reach the highest level. Yes I get women to tell me their deepest darkest secrets and then the rest can develop from there.
I use the cards I've been dealt and that's what life is all about, putting your best foot forward.
Last night I was over her place and we were studying. Our relationship thus far has been purely amiable, but last night she made a comment that made me realize it might be taking an unexpected turn.
I left her place late last night and we resumed talking when I arrived home. My game was on and I had been untouchable all night. It's the oldest cliche, but just being yourself works the best, well when you're awesome like me at least. The words were flowing out of me and I was in my zone. There was nothing she could do to slow down this train and in an instant she became a deer in the headlights and so we will call her Bambi.
Guys pick up girls in various ways. We pick them up with our looks, charm, wallet, celebrity status, humor. Not me. I pick up girls with my words. By talking to me girls feel instantly comfortable. If you are one of my victims then you know what I am talking about. I can sit and talk and the conversation flows endlessly, get a little liquor in me and I'm even sharper. It's not a trick however, it is genuine. I engage in conversation. I find a way for it to flow to a place which I consider my comfort zone and before you know it you are telling me your deepest darkest secrets you never told anyone, let alone someone you hardly know. (You have probably been with someone before who has done the exact same thing to you.)
Is it wrong? No.
Why? Because I'm not opening you up and allowing you to be vulnerable to expose and use you. I do it because I am genuinely interested what you have to say. Once I can direct the conversation into sexual experiences and preferences, women become intrigued and enamored. They don't even realize how the conversation went from law exams to sexual positions and partners.
Last night after arriving home Bambi said to me, "its funny...certain guys have a gift with conversation....and they can really make you tell them all your deepest darkest secrets...well not make you but just make it easy to offer."
What is so riveting about Bambi mentioning this, is that she was well aware of what was occurring and how she was telling me everything about herself, but it didn't stop her. She was too caught up in the conversation to slow down.
Her next comment to me was, "we can never have sex, you know far too much about me now. I won't ever have sex with you."
Now this rather seemingly harmless conversation was never about us having sex, nor did I ever proposition her or imply I was interested. However, being a man, I'm not going to turn down sex from a very attractive female either.
Unfortunately for her, by telling me she will never have sex with me she folded her hand. I knew exactly the cards she had been dealt and bluffing wouldn't take her any farther. I now had the upper hand and knew we would absolutely have sex the next time I saw her. Now some of you may be confused so I will slow down and explain.
Whenever a girl tells you she will not have sex with you, she has every intention to sleep with you, unless you are a stalker, rapist, molester, etc.
The reason a girl says she won't sleep with you is simple and obvious, it is a defense mechanism. Bambi may not realize she was the one who brought up sex entirely on her own, but by bringing it up I now knew the seed was planted in her head. The only difference is now she seems to think I actually believe we won't ever have sex and so I let her think this. The reason she told me that we won't be having sex is because it allows her to gather enough self respect that she doesn't feel like she made herself too easy for me. This way she can pretend I still have to work for it.
The conversation had flowed exactly where I wanted it to and when talking about sex, an extremely personal topic girls become excited. When the conversation began I honestly was not thinking about having sex with her, but as I stated in the beginning, I'm a guy and when a smoking girl is offering, I'm not one to shy away. While I didn't intend for the conversation to go as far as it went, I pushed down on the accelerator and let it ride, when right in front of my eyes there it was, a deer in the headlights.
In a way many of you may feel that my approach where girls open up to me is cheating, corner cutting or just downright wrong. Well it's not. Some guys simply get laid for looks or money. Is it so wrong to use my god given abilities? If your greatest talent was playing an instrument, would you not play at the highest level you could?
My greatest talent is my words and my pen. I never said I don't like the women, I never said I couldn't see a future with them, all I do is use the skills I have to reach the highest level. Yes I get women to tell me their deepest darkest secrets and then the rest can develop from there.
I use the cards I've been dealt and that's what life is all about, putting your best foot forward.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sometimes It's Best to Say No
We have all been in relationships. Sometimes we date for love, sex, attraction, loneliness, convenience. Sometimes we settle down with someone because we've been seeing them so long we see no reason why we shouldn't take the next step. And sometimes we get so lost in our relationships we lose sight of who we are and what we stand for.
Most people are too proud to admit they lose sight of who they are, what their beliefs are and how they want to live their lives. Maybe it's something minuscule we change such as movies we see. Maybe it's something larger such as dietary habits or changing our sleeping schedule so we can find a way to spend more time with someone causing us to be exhausted the following day.
The problem is people become too afraid to tell the ones they love no. They are afraid that they need to be there for them and do everything for them within their control. When someone lets you do everything for them, they don't actually care about you, they care about what you can do for them. That my friends is not love.
Today I got to thinking about all of the things I've done wrong in relationships. This is probably surprising to most of you, but in terms of relationships and love I am very good to the women I've loved. However, I am not good to myself.
Today while talking to friend in NYC, I asked him how his girlfriend was and his response to me was this, "I don't think she's doing well, but I'm not really sure. I decided the most important thing in my life is me right now." I was pretty impressed to hear him say this. It's not that he doesn't care about her anymore, it's that he knows he needs to be his number one priority.
It's important to recognize when your relationship isn't working anymore and when you realize it, stop trying to make it work. Unless you have a child or you're married, you don't need to be with this person. I know, she's incredible in bed or there's no one out there like him, or you'll never understand our connection.....I've heard it all. I don't believe in quitting and too often that mentality has found me in trouble. No one wants to say this isn't working anymore, no one generally wants to move on, but sometimes it's the most important thing because once we are aware we are changing, we start to lose a little of ourselves every day. We stop liking ourselves.
With the holiday season quickly approaching no one wants to be alone. People searching for love and companionship this time of year is as typical as women hiding their fat under sweaters and men growing beards. Don't date someone or rush into a relationship because you want someone to snuggle with or you'll find a year or two down the road the person isn't good for you and you don't necessarily like yourself. Instead be with your friends and your family. They are your support system and as much as we neglect the ones who love us, they are the most dependable.
Next Blog: "you know you have a drinking problem when....."
Most people are too proud to admit they lose sight of who they are, what their beliefs are and how they want to live their lives. Maybe it's something minuscule we change such as movies we see. Maybe it's something larger such as dietary habits or changing our sleeping schedule so we can find a way to spend more time with someone causing us to be exhausted the following day.
The problem is people become too afraid to tell the ones they love no. They are afraid that they need to be there for them and do everything for them within their control. When someone lets you do everything for them, they don't actually care about you, they care about what you can do for them. That my friends is not love.
Today I got to thinking about all of the things I've done wrong in relationships. This is probably surprising to most of you, but in terms of relationships and love I am very good to the women I've loved. However, I am not good to myself.
Today while talking to friend in NYC, I asked him how his girlfriend was and his response to me was this, "I don't think she's doing well, but I'm not really sure. I decided the most important thing in my life is me right now." I was pretty impressed to hear him say this. It's not that he doesn't care about her anymore, it's that he knows he needs to be his number one priority.
It's important to recognize when your relationship isn't working anymore and when you realize it, stop trying to make it work. Unless you have a child or you're married, you don't need to be with this person. I know, she's incredible in bed or there's no one out there like him, or you'll never understand our connection.....I've heard it all. I don't believe in quitting and too often that mentality has found me in trouble. No one wants to say this isn't working anymore, no one generally wants to move on, but sometimes it's the most important thing because once we are aware we are changing, we start to lose a little of ourselves every day. We stop liking ourselves.
With the holiday season quickly approaching no one wants to be alone. People searching for love and companionship this time of year is as typical as women hiding their fat under sweaters and men growing beards. Don't date someone or rush into a relationship because you want someone to snuggle with or you'll find a year or two down the road the person isn't good for you and you don't necessarily like yourself. Instead be with your friends and your family. They are your support system and as much as we neglect the ones who love us, they are the most dependable.
Next Blog: "you know you have a drinking problem when....."
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Afternoon Delight
What has happened to the art of casual sex? After college sex is no longer just sex. It becomes, where is this going? Do you have feelings for me? Are you going to take me to dinner? Why can't a guy or girl simply text each other and say, "I'm horny, my place after work?"
Everyone wants to be having it, everyone loves it. Lets consider the positive effects:
1. improved self-confidence
2. there is no better feeling
3. Reduces stress
There is no better feeling than some old fashion P in V action. God's original toys. Toy 1: Penis, Toy 2: Vagina A long lunch break, a quickie before dinner. Casual sex doesn't have to be slutty. There are really no negatives. Wear a condom if it makes you feel better and take the pill if you're worried about getting knocked up.
If you are sitting around today, bored, lazy, horny, spice up your day a little. No need to result to a vibrator and a firm hand. Combine your powers.
The major concern with casual sex is the initiation. How often do you sit around and want to text someone, "my place after work." I don't care if you are in a relationship or married for 50 years, we all want sex. Everyone is so afraid of what the other person will respond. Don't be afraid because deep down we all want it and who knows, they might say yes.
Sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight! AFTERNOON DELIGHT
Everyone wants to be having it, everyone loves it. Lets consider the positive effects:
1. improved self-confidence
2. there is no better feeling
3. Reduces stress
There is no better feeling than some old fashion P in V action. God's original toys. Toy 1: Penis, Toy 2: Vagina A long lunch break, a quickie before dinner. Casual sex doesn't have to be slutty. There are really no negatives. Wear a condom if it makes you feel better and take the pill if you're worried about getting knocked up.
If you are sitting around today, bored, lazy, horny, spice up your day a little. No need to result to a vibrator and a firm hand. Combine your powers.
The major concern with casual sex is the initiation. How often do you sit around and want to text someone, "my place after work." I don't care if you are in a relationship or married for 50 years, we all want sex. Everyone is so afraid of what the other person will respond. Don't be afraid because deep down we all want it and who knows, they might say yes.
Sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight! AFTERNOON DELIGHT
Monday, September 20, 2010
Some girls need a good hard jackhammering
Hey guys, been very busy but read this article and I could not get it up here fast enough. If all you do is skim, make sure to read some of the key points.
http://brosome.com/what-women-really-want-from-men/
http://brosome.com/what-women-really-want-from-men/
Friday, July 16, 2010
I Like My Girls With Low Self Esteem
Over a year ago I met this smoking hot girl at a bar. She hated me then even more than she does now. Most sexual relationships are built on a strong foundation of hatred and attraction, which they should be. Either hatred which turns you on to them or hatred where you really want to hurt them in the bedroom with rough sex. Often they go hand in hand.
One night when at a club in South Beach with three friends, one girl and two duds, my two boys were murdering me with boredom. I drank and I drank, but I hit that point where if I consumed an additional 10 or 20 drinks I was still going to feel just as sober.
One of my good buddies known as Seafood because he sees food he eats it, was texting with two girls who ending up meeting us out. I was ready to leave the club before even walking in so when I met the two bombshells I extended my hand, said nice to meet you and turned right back around to the bar to see if I could beat this soberness.
The girls were offended I did not hang around and talk longer, but I was so sober I could have driven a car in reverse while weaving in and out of traffic blindfolded and jerking off with my feet; and let's get to the real point, who wants to talk to a girl sober? I continued to drink hoping that I could turn this night around. Evidently, my boredom worked in my favor on this off night and I accidentally intrigued one of the ladies.
My lack of interest in Bombshell #1 was an optical allusion because I truly was interested. When approaching such a bombshell I generally would have been quickly shot down, but that night I was so bored and in such a horrible mood that it worked to my advantage.
Those of you men needing help in the pussy crushing department take some advice. The trick is to intrigue the girl and hold her interest. Be mysterious and not in a Val Kilmer in Batman Forever kinda way. Be mysterious enough that she is questioning why is this guy not talking to me? Is there something wrong with my outfit? Can he do that much better than me?
For those of you who don't know how to make a girl feel this way, here is a move of mine that I find works more often than not. I generally do not believe in buying a girl a drink, but most of you don't know how to approach a girl unless you do so here is your exception:
When you see a girl you're interested in about to order a drink, walk up next to her and do the same. Tell her you need to put a minimum on your credit card and want to close out and she would she be doing you a great service if she ordered a drink on your tab. When talking to most girls their first thought is, "when is he leaving" so this approach works well because she knows you won't be hanging around. After buying her the drink walk away immediately. She is instantly intrigued and slightly offended you don't stay to talk. The rest of the night when she sees you, she is going to be wondering, why didn't he want to talk to me?
Luckily for me, the fact I had an off night intrigued Bombshell #1 enough that she wanted to know more about me. Most guys like girls with low self esteem. It's because the less they think of themselves the more interested they become in you.
A few weeks later I was out and ran into Bombshell #1. This time I once again didn't show much interest because I was in the middle of talking with a friend. Rarely am I able to play it so cool with a girl as out of this world attractive as she is, but with her I was able to do it twice. Later that night a bunch of us found ourselves getting a 3 am meal and she came along. We got to talking and it became evident how bothered she was that I had previously blown her off. Bombshell #1 has extremely high self esteem, but I was able to temporarily lower it resulting in her on-going interest, exactly what you should all be aiming for.
Too often girls like to toot their own horn and think their shit doesn't stink. They think, oh some guy bought me a drink so I'm hot shit. Well guys do yourselves and all females a favor. If their self confidence is too high, lower it for them. Believe me no one wants to date a stuck up bitch and she doesn't want to date a little pussy either, so don't be a pushover.
One night when at a club in South Beach with three friends, one girl and two duds, my two boys were murdering me with boredom. I drank and I drank, but I hit that point where if I consumed an additional 10 or 20 drinks I was still going to feel just as sober.
One of my good buddies known as Seafood because he sees food he eats it, was texting with two girls who ending up meeting us out. I was ready to leave the club before even walking in so when I met the two bombshells I extended my hand, said nice to meet you and turned right back around to the bar to see if I could beat this soberness.
The girls were offended I did not hang around and talk longer, but I was so sober I could have driven a car in reverse while weaving in and out of traffic blindfolded and jerking off with my feet; and let's get to the real point, who wants to talk to a girl sober? I continued to drink hoping that I could turn this night around. Evidently, my boredom worked in my favor on this off night and I accidentally intrigued one of the ladies.
My lack of interest in Bombshell #1 was an optical allusion because I truly was interested. When approaching such a bombshell I generally would have been quickly shot down, but that night I was so bored and in such a horrible mood that it worked to my advantage.
Those of you men needing help in the pussy crushing department take some advice. The trick is to intrigue the girl and hold her interest. Be mysterious and not in a Val Kilmer in Batman Forever kinda way. Be mysterious enough that she is questioning why is this guy not talking to me? Is there something wrong with my outfit? Can he do that much better than me?
For those of you who don't know how to make a girl feel this way, here is a move of mine that I find works more often than not. I generally do not believe in buying a girl a drink, but most of you don't know how to approach a girl unless you do so here is your exception:
When you see a girl you're interested in about to order a drink, walk up next to her and do the same. Tell her you need to put a minimum on your credit card and want to close out and she would she be doing you a great service if she ordered a drink on your tab. When talking to most girls their first thought is, "when is he leaving" so this approach works well because she knows you won't be hanging around. After buying her the drink walk away immediately. She is instantly intrigued and slightly offended you don't stay to talk. The rest of the night when she sees you, she is going to be wondering, why didn't he want to talk to me?
Luckily for me, the fact I had an off night intrigued Bombshell #1 enough that she wanted to know more about me. Most guys like girls with low self esteem. It's because the less they think of themselves the more interested they become in you.
A few weeks later I was out and ran into Bombshell #1. This time I once again didn't show much interest because I was in the middle of talking with a friend. Rarely am I able to play it so cool with a girl as out of this world attractive as she is, but with her I was able to do it twice. Later that night a bunch of us found ourselves getting a 3 am meal and she came along. We got to talking and it became evident how bothered she was that I had previously blown her off. Bombshell #1 has extremely high self esteem, but I was able to temporarily lower it resulting in her on-going interest, exactly what you should all be aiming for.
Too often girls like to toot their own horn and think their shit doesn't stink. They think, oh some guy bought me a drink so I'm hot shit. Well guys do yourselves and all females a favor. If their self confidence is too high, lower it for them. Believe me no one wants to date a stuck up bitch and she doesn't want to date a little pussy either, so don't be a pushover.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Question for the Ages
This weekend I'm going out with some friends. Bunch of guys and bunch of girls. Not everyone is acquainted with one another and so the only question when meeting new people has surfaced. Are your friends hot?
Whenever a guys ask girls if their friends are attractive the answer is always yes and more often than not we are disappointed. We all know the story they say, "she is cute" or "she is so funny, best personality ever. You will love her." What our female friends don't seem to understand is men do not go out at night looking to make friends with girls. When I ask a girl if her friend is hot the only answers that are of any relevance to me are "is your friend dtf" (down to fuck) and she is hot enough.
Now some of you are sitting there thinking Ben's a pig. Well, I don't hide what I am ladies. I have great friends and I'm not looking to make any more. I don't want a girlfriend and I pity the fool who does. You see love is the greatest myth on Earth. People buy into it because they need that feeling of self worth as I have mentioned so many times before.
Ladies take my advice, the biggest misconception in your brain when you go out at night, is where should the night go. You all go out to have a great time, dance, maybe meet some new people.
Guys objective: Get laid and if we don't the night is a failure.
So ladies, when your guy friend asks you if your friend's are hot just give him the answer he needs, "enough".
Whenever a guys ask girls if their friends are attractive the answer is always yes and more often than not we are disappointed. We all know the story they say, "she is cute" or "she is so funny, best personality ever. You will love her." What our female friends don't seem to understand is men do not go out at night looking to make friends with girls. When I ask a girl if her friend is hot the only answers that are of any relevance to me are "is your friend dtf" (down to fuck) and she is hot enough.
Now some of you are sitting there thinking Ben's a pig. Well, I don't hide what I am ladies. I have great friends and I'm not looking to make any more. I don't want a girlfriend and I pity the fool who does. You see love is the greatest myth on Earth. People buy into it because they need that feeling of self worth as I have mentioned so many times before.
Ladies take my advice, the biggest misconception in your brain when you go out at night, is where should the night go. You all go out to have a great time, dance, maybe meet some new people.
Guys objective: Get laid and if we don't the night is a failure.
So ladies, when your guy friend asks you if your friend's are hot just give him the answer he needs, "enough".
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